Coping a Break-Up


Break-up mostly turns to be a very harsh and hard reality to cope up with. A person who just broke up would go through the following 5 stages-

Denial: Here the person would not be able to accept the reality. Moreover, hurt herself/himself again and again by re-engaging in all previous memories. The person at this stage is very vulnerable to any triggering factor in the environment.

Anger: Here the person would be introjecting as well as projecting anger of investing so much psychic energy and not getting the expected return. The person at this stage is more like gradually has started to accept the present reality of his/her life.

Bargaining: Here the person starts negotiating with his reality and unmet expectations. The person at this stage is trying to gain a better insight to his/her issues.

Depression: Here the person breaks out of all the unmet expectations and face the reality. The person at this stage is now deeply into the grief yet with understanding of reality.

Accept: Here the person is ready to accept the present reality and move forward. The person at this stage has gained insight and accepted the present situation to move further ahead in life.

Thus, acceptance of the fact is the first step to cope with break-up. With acceptance the insight to see the other priorities in life comes up along with hope. One must get engage to more social support like meeting friends, sharing in closed groups to vent out the pains and sorrows related with break-up. Engaging with hobbies, time pass activities help to cope with the lonely feeling too. Focusing on the present helps to cope with past memories by segregating the thoughts from emotions. Tracking down the thoughts related to break-up and weighing the reasons with expectations helps to analyse the truth. Rearranging the schedule of daily activities, incorporating ‘me time’ for self-care, accepting the memories of past does help to build up hope for future. And when required seeking a professional help is always recommended for coping gracefully with this grief.